How to Mentally Prepare for Your Child’s First Day of Preschool

The first day of preschool is a big step for both the parent and child, filled with a lot of mixed emotions and stress. Whether you’re transitioning from full-time daycare, nanny care, or full-time parenting, your experience will be unique and different to your situation. As you prepare for your child’s first day of school, you may feel overwhelmed with the preparation. From completing school forms, stocking up on school supplies to meal planning, there’s a lot of planning involved in the weeks leading up to your child’s first day of preschool. Though there is a lot to prepare, we often underestimate the mental and emotional preparation that goes into transitioning your child to preschool.

The first few days and weeks of your child’s preschool will be challenging for most parents due to the emotional drop offs and adjustment that your child will go through. It’s become the norm for parents to expect an adjustment period when their child will likely cry and scream during drop-offs for the first few days or weeks. This can be emotionally difficult for both the parent and child. While some may argue that this is completely normal behavior and will eventually pass, there are steps you can take to help ease your child’s transition to preschool.

If you’re still deciding on a preschool and feeling overwhelmed by the decision process, here are a few guidelines on how to decide on the best preschool for you and your family.

Below are a few ways you can mentally prepare yourself and your child for their first day of school to get through this adjustment period.

1. Start with a limited schedule the first few weeks and then gradually increase hours and/or days overtime. If it’s an option with your child’s preschool, start with a limited schedule to give your child time to adjust to their new environment. Ideally, they would start with a short window of 3-4 hours a day and then slowly increase as they become more comfortable with their teachers and classmates. After a couple weeks, you can then reassess whether your child is ready to extend their school hours. I have found this approach has eased the transition for both me and our son. We started with half day, three days a week and it was just the right amount of time to get adjusted. After a couple months, we increased it to four days a week as I started to feel more confident and he begin to enjoy school.
2. Bring your child with you on school tours and/or orientation. Most preschools will offer tours or orientations. It helps to bring your child with you so they can be exposed to the environment and get a sense of what their school will be like. This is also a great opportunity for them to meet their teachers and introduce themselves.
3. Schedule playdates with your child’s classmates outside of school. It helps when there are familiar faces at school so try to get together with another parent at your child’s school and plan a playdate together. Even though kids in the younger age (2-3 years) may not socialize much yet, it is helpful for them to know the names of their classmates. We were fortunate enough to know a handful of our son’s classmates so when he went to school, we would point out all the kids he knew. We believe this helped him feel more at ease with the new environment because of the familiar faces he knew.
4. Make a point to walk by your child’s school as often as possible before their first day so they become familiar with the environment. If your school is near your home, try to take a detour and walk by the school often so your child becomes familiar with the idea of going to school. Fortunately, for us, our son’s preschool is just a block away from our home so we would pass it frequently. And every time we pass by, I would point it out and say “hey! there’s your school! You’re starting very soon. How are you feeling about it?” Eventually, he got so used to it that every time we pass by the school, he would point it out first.
5. Talk to your child about their preschool and what they can expect in the weeks leading up to their first day. Starting a couple weeks before their first day, plan to talk to your child about their school and what they can expect. A few weeks prior to our son’s first day of school, I intentionally brought up school more often reminding him that he was going to start school soon and checking with him on his feelings about it. I also mentioned that “mommy and daddy won’t be staying at school. It’s only for little kids” to reduce surprises for him. He would respond with “I’m a little kid!” and so he seemed to have an understanding that it would be just him and his teachers and other kids at school.
6. Keep your goodbyes short and sweet: “I love you, you will be safe here with Teacher X. I am excited to see you after school.” In all honesty, I was so nervous for the first day of school. I expected lots of tears and difficulty saying goodbye to him. But surprisingly, he had no tears at all and seemed to adapt really well. I was prepared to keep my goodbye short and sweet even though in my heart I wanted to stay with him to make sure he would be okay. When you show confidence and assurance, your child will follow suit so it’s important that you leave with confidence that your kid will be okay and in good hands. I like to tell my son “I love you, I will see you after school. Have so much fun with teachers X, Y, Z.”
7. Plan to take work off during the first few days (if you’re currently working). The first week may be an emotional wreck for either you or your child or both so it may be a good idea to take time off from work the first week to give yourself some time to process your emotions during this adjustment period. It’s also a good idea if for some reason, you decide to pick up your child from school early, leaving you with the flexibility to do so.
8. Plan a self-care day and treat yourself out. Preparing your child for their first day of school is no small feat! Celebrate this day by treating yourself out to your favorite beverage or grabbing brunch with your partner or friends. We don’t often celebrate the work we do as parents so being intentional in carving out time for ourselves is so important!
9. On non-school days, plan a special outing with your child bringing them to their favorite place. Once our son started preschool, it made me want to make the most out of the time we had together. So on the days he didn’t have school or over the weekends, we would plan out special trips to his favorite museum or the zoo. This made us look forward to these days together and make up for the time we aren’t together when they’re in school.

Other Factors to Consider

There are a few other factors to consider as your child adjusts to their preschool that may help you and your child through this transition.

1. Earlier bedtime. If your child is staying in school all day, their nap may be affected as they adjust to the new environment and schedule. Plan for an earlier bedtime because they may be more tired than usual and lacking sleep during the first few weeks of school.
2. Nutrition. Your child’s school will have their own schedule on when they will snack and eat lunch so it’s important you monitor and assess your child’s hunger level. Some kids may eat well at school and others may be too distracted to eat at all. After picking up our son, we always offer a snack or give him the opportunity to finish his lunch if he didn’t finish at school to ensure he received adequate nutrition.
3. Sickness. It’s become a running joke how often kids get sick after an extended period away from school. It’s expected for kids to get sick often in their first few months of school so your child will likely miss school frequently in the first few months. Plan accordingly. It’s likely not the best time to plan a family vacation or special outing during this period.
4. Drop offs may be harder after the weekend or extended period away from school. Many parents have mentioned how challenging it is to get their kid to school after the weekend or extended holiday break. This makes sense. How often do we adults complain about going to work on Mondays? Everything will feel harder after a long break from school so plan ahead for this. Make sure you give yourself ample time on those mornings to get your child and yourself ready for school so they don’t feel rushed in the morning.

Hope this article has given you a few ideas on how to mentally prepare for your child’s first day of school. I would love to hear in the comments below how your child’s first day of preschool went and if you have any tips to share!