The first few years of motherhood is a special time filled with so much joy, excitement and many new milestones. Breastfeeding is a significant part of the new mom experience in the first few months to entire year of their child’s life. For some, it may be a time for special bonding. For others, it may be time of stress. And for moms like me, you may experience a little bit of both.
According to the CDC, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complimentary foods for up to 2 years of age or longer. Science has proven the many benefits of breastfeeding. We all know breastfeeding is good for our babies, but knowing when to wean or stop breastfeeding entirely is completely a personal choice.
This blog post will cover the benefits of breastfeeding, sharing my own breastfeeding journey, how to know when is the right time to wean off breastfeeding and how to start weaning off breastfeeding once you’re ready.
Benefits of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding has so many benefits for both the mother and child. There’s been a lot of research shared on the benefits of breastfeeding your baby until one year old. However, there are also benefits to extended breastfeeding (beyond one year and up to two years) for both the mother and child.
According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), a few of the benefits of breastfeeding include:
- Breast milk is the best source of nutrition for most babies
- Breastfeeding can help protect babies against illnesses and diseases
- Breast milk shares antibodies from the mother with her baby
For the mother, extended breastfeeding (1-2 years) can lower the risk of:
- Breast cancer
- Ovarian cancer
- High blood pressure
- Type 2 diabetes
My Breastfeeding Journey
When I first started on my breastfeeding journey with my now 2-year old son, my initial goal was to last until he turned one. Once we reached this milestone, it felt like a ton of weight fell off my shoulders. I no longer felt the immense pressure to maintain my milk supply and power pump every time my milk supply dipped.
Fast forward to today, I am still nursing my now 27-month old son once a day. I never thought back then that I would be breastfeeding for this long and when people ask how or why, there are several different reasons, which I will save for a future post. Breastfeeding is such an emotional journey and when my son turned one, I was not emotionally ready to let go of this special bonding experience with him. It felt so final. I knew once I decided to end our breastfeeding journey, it would be the end of it for the rest of his life and I wasn’t quite sure that I was ready to accept the finale of it.
Now that he’s turned two, I no longer feel our emotional bond is tied to our breastfeeding sessions. Our nursing sessions have become routine. It’s usually the first thing he asks for when he wakes up in the morning, mainly out of habit. Most of the time, he’s squirming, kicking around and playing with his toys while latched onto my boob, which tells me he’s bored. Similarly, I’m also just waiting for the time to pass so we can move onto the next thing. Although we’ve reduced our nursing sessions down to once a day, I feel a lot of mixed emotions about closing this chapter in our relationship. It feels like I’m still hanging onto this last bit of time together, to savor his infancy. If I’m being honest with myself, I know this chapter is coming to an end very soon and as I write this, it feels more like a reality. I hope this post will help other moms who may struggle with weaning off breastfeeding.
When to Wean Off Breastfeeding
As I’ve been gradually weaning off breastfeeding, it’s made me reflect back on how to know when it’s the right time to start weaning. If you’re struggling with weaning off breastfeeding, below are a few telltale signs.
- You no longer enjoy it. This may seem obvious but it’s not always clear when breastfeeding starts to feel more like a chore. For me, nursing my son started off feeling like a special bonding experience and then slowly started to feel more like an obligation. There was this specific time during one of our nursing sessions, I remember thinking to myself that this was a waste of time and I felt so trapped. I was starting to get annoyed when he asked to be nursed. Even though I felt this way, I pushed my feelings aside because it felt like it was my duty as a mom to continue to nourish him and it felt like there was no valid reason to end it.
- It has become an inconvenience in your normal day-to-day activities. Breastfeeding is a huge responsibility and the number of hours we spend breastfeeding or pumping can add up to be a full-time job. After a certain point, you may feel like it’s starting to get in the way of your personal life in work, social settings, etc. While I was comfortable sacrificing this during my son’s first year, I felt like it was no longer necessary to continuing sacrificing my personal life after he turned two. It’s important to take a step back and reflect on how much is the breastfeeding getting in the way of your personal life and mental health, and whether the benefits outweigh the costs. There were times I would be eating and enjoying my lunch or dinner, and my son would demand that I nurse him at that moment. It would interrupt my meals and I wouldn’t be able to eat until he was done nursing. This was when I started to feel resentful.
- You want your body back. There’s no denial that breastfeeding is so beneficial for the baby and mom. However, if you’re feeling like you want your body back so you can do the things that you once loved again, this is a completely valid reason to wean off breastfeeding. I’ve withheld myself from taking certain medications and vitamins due to the fact that I’m breastfeeding. I felt guilty anytime I drank a glass of wine. So having my body back meant that I could finally be free to eat or drink whatever I want without considering the consequences that it would have on my breast milk.
- It has become a strain on your relationships and mental health. Even though breastfeeding is primarily between the mother and her child, it may very well have an effect on your relationship with your spouse and/or personal relationships. Breastfeeding may make you feel like you need to always be physically available for your child which can really restrict your social and personal relationships. It can also affect the way your partner parents your child. Since our son always breastfeeds in the morning, he would always want me to get him in the morning not dad. This made it really hard on the both of us when I was sick and needed to stay in bed to rest. If you feel like your breastfeeding is negatively affecting the dynamics of your relationship with your spouse or your mental wellbeing, this is a valid reason to start weaning.
How to Wean Off Breastfeeding
If you’re ready to start weaning off breastfeeding, there are a couple different approaches you can take depending on your circumstances and preferences.
#1 Gradual weaning. If you have the flexibility to work at home or if you’re a stay-at-home mom, gradually cutting down the amount of nursing sessions is an option to slowly wean off breastfeeding so it doesn’t feel so abrupt. This is the method that I took. After my son turned two, I stopped offering breastfeeding at his normal feeding times and instead, let him lead so I would only nurse him when he requested it. This worked very well because he slowly stopped requesting it over time. It would start with three times a day, then down to two times and now finally once a day. Your milk supply will drop gradually as the number of feedings reduce.
#2 Cold turkey. A few of my mom friends have taken this approach and have shared their experiences. If you’re ready to rip off the bandaid and be done with breastfeeding once and for all, this is a great option. This approach may work well for working moms who have to be in the office. If your child is used to nursing at night or in the middle of the night, it may be rough for the first few days or week as it takes time for them to adjust. Be intentional with when you’ll stop breastfeeding. You can mark it on a calendar and tell your partner so they can support you during the adjustment period. The idea is to remove yourself physically as much as possible during their normal feeding time so you are removing the option for breast milk. If taking a solo trip or quick getaway with your friends makes it easier, this could also help ease the transition. Once you no longer offer breastfeeding, your body will adjust. If your breasts feel uncomfortable from being engorged, a trick is to release some milk using a breast pump or manual pump like Haakaa. Also, placing cold cabbage on your breasts can ease the discomfort from engorgement.
Every mom’s experience with breastfeeding is unique and special. There is no right or wrong decision when it comes to deciding when to wean off breastfeeding. Hopefully this article provides a few ways to guide you in your decision. I would love to hear, how was your breastfeeding journey? If you’ve weaned off breastfeeding, what was your experience like?
