You’ve decided to go back to work after a career break. You’ve accepted a new opportunity. And now you’re feeling doubtful. If you’re feeling nervous about returning to work, you’re not alone.
Preparing to return back to work after a career break can bring on mixed feelings. It’s hard to imagine what your life may look like with a full-time work schedule after having spent all your time with your child. You may be feeling anxious. Excited. Scared. Sad. Perhaps a mix of the above.
This is completely normal. And it’s totally okay to feel mixed emotions all at the same time. It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible mom for deciding to return to work. It doesn’t mean that you’re not going to spend any time with your family. Finding your new normal after taking a career break will take a bit of time and adjustment. This post will dive into a few ways you can mentally prepare for your transition back to work after your career break so you can reduce stress and embark on your new chapter with a fresh and open perspective.
If you’re a stay-at-home mom preparing to return to work after an extended career break, this post is for you.
1. Make sure you have childcare options lined up.
I can’t stress this enough. Having great childcare options that you can depend on and trust will be set you up for success as you transition into your new opportunity. My biggest concern when deciding when to go back to work was whether I could trust someone other myself and my husband to watch our son full-time. Once we found the right preschool for him, where he thrives and enjoys, it made it so much easier for me to separate and spend time away from each other. Hopefully, you already have a few childcare options lined up. It’s also great to have backup childcare because we all know that when our child is sick, all our plans will fall through. So, whether that’s family nearby or a backup nanny that your child is familiar with and loves, this will relieve a lot of stress when you transition back to work.
2. Clear your schedule the week before your start date.
Reserving the week before you start work will help you line things up so you feel more organized and prepared for your first day. You can spend this time running errands or buying yourself some new work outfits. You could also use this time to cherish and maximize your time with your little one if that’s what you prefer to doing. Maybe you want to make the most of this last week together by taking a small roadtrip as a family or even a day trip and take your family to someplace you’ve never been to. This is your chance to really make your last week of being a SAHM special!
3. Remind yourself that no decision is permanent.
If you’re struggling with self-doubt like I was and having thoughts like “was this the right decision? what if I regret this?”, know that this isn’t a permanent decision. Like my therapist told me, you can start your job one day and decide to quit the next day if you want. Of course, this may not look great on you, but the point is that you’re not tied to any decision that you make. The way I convinced myself to accept my job offer was to tell myself to just stick it out for 6 months. 6 months didn’t seem like too long of a time for me. And it also reminded me that I could always return to being a SAHM if I wanted to in the future.
4. Quality over quantity of time.
I still remember a conversation I had with another mom a few months ago. Her daughter had just started preschool and she was going full-time. When I asked if she felt like she had enough time with her daughter, her response was “it makes me treasure our time together even more.” This stuck with me. I had it all wrong from the beginning. I thought it was more about the quantity of time I spent with our son so that I could avoid missing out on those important milestones and be there for him whenever he needed me. But over time, I realized that the more time we spent together, it meant less energy I had for him. I soon found myself counting down the minutes until he would go down for bedtime each night so I could finally have time for myself. I felt immense guilt about this. So if you’re struggling with mentally preparing for work and feeling guilty for having less time for your family, remember that it will only make the time you spend together even more special.
5. Embrace change and different seasons of life.
If there’s anything motherhood taught me is that change is inevitable. While this is true whether or not you are a parent, it becomes even more obvious once you become a parent when you see your child grow right before your eyes in a matter of weeks. All of this is to say that if you feel called to go back to work and pursue a career that you’re passionate about or maybe you’re not as passionate about it but are excited to contribute in a different way, know that there’s a season for everything. And embracing this new beginning from the perspective of freshness and curiosity will set you up to be mentally prepared and open to what the new opportunity brings. I love this quote I once heard: “you can have everything you want, but not all at the same time.” This resonates so much with me because I often find myself striving for different goals all at the same time, resulting in little progress towards each goal. Perhaps your season in focusing on being a mother is coming to an end, but that doesn’t mean you stop being the best mother for your child. It just means you are now focusing on other things in your life that are also important to you.
6. Focus on what you’ll gain, instead of what you’ll lose.
Often times when we are going through a big transition in our life, we focus on what we will lose. In this situation, perhaps you’re afraid of losing time with your family. Maybe you’re afraid of losing your freedom to control your own schedule. Instead focus on what you will gain. This is kind of like the glass half empty or half full expression. It’s all about our perspective. Remind yourself what you will gain by going back to work. This could be the additional income you’ll be bringing in. Make this fun by creating a wishlist of things you want to purchase now that you’ll be making extra money. For me, it was monthly facials and paying for our son’s swim lessons. This made me feel like I was still contributing to the family in an important way and taking care of myself. Another gain could be reconnecting with a community. Being a SAHM can be really lonely. Learning to manage your loneliness as a SAHM is so important for our overall mental wellbeing. Once you return back to work, you will likely be meeting and connecting with new colleagues and building a sense of community through work. This is one of the things I missed most about working a 9-5 job.
7. Plan a vacation.
I know what you might be thinking. You’re getting ready to go back to work, how can you possibly think about taking a vacation already? Well, hear me out for a second. Having something to look forward to even if it’s a few months away can help ease the transition back to work. When you know a vacation is coming along, you’ll be thinking and planning for freshly shaved ice on soft white sandy beaches. This gives you something to look forward to so it doesn’t feel like it’s all work and no play. You can plan a family vacation that you and your family are all looking forward together. This doesn’t have to be extravagant. It can be a short weekend getaway trip. Whatever will get you excited and get through the first few months at your new job! For my family, we’re already planning a family trip to San Diego for our son’s summer break and I’m so excited to take him to the famous San Diego Zoo and Legoland.
Transitioning back to work after an extended career break can feel like a big change. It feels like returning to work after maternity leave, only much longer. If you’re having mixed feelings and doubt about going back to work, I hope this list of tips will help mentally prepare you for this big transition.
Congrats on deciding to take on this new chapter in your life. Please share in the comments below how you’re preparing yourself for your transition back to work!
